


Meeting Someone New

by Mawgon



Series: Dwarves care for consent - Series [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dwarves Have Manners, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:54:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mawgon/pseuds/Mawgon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now, that Erebor is once again a safe place to live, more and more dwarves return. Kíli wouldn't mind much, if Dís wouldn't force him into properly welcoming the newcomers. Which means formal attire. And braided hair. And standing still for a long time.<br/>Kíli is pleased when most of the newly arrived dwarves, hungry and exhausted as they are, don't care much for his mother's fancy welcome speech. However, there is one among them who does care, and calls Dís "lady", and wears beardclasps and braids, and garments with embroidered runes. Kíli takes an immediate dislike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on my other fics. In case you don't want to read those, here is what happened:  
> \- Fíli married a human woman, Gerrun. They have a daughter, Runís.  
> \- Bofur is involved with a human woman, Tess.  
> \- Ori and Dwalin are a couple.

As time went by, hallways were cleaned and pillars repaired, Erebor was restored to its former glory. Letters were sent, letters were received, and it was decided that Erebor could be considered officially safe to return to. 

Kíli soon took to avoiding the company of Bombur and Glóin, as the only thing they ever seemed to want to talk about was their wives and children. Fíli, though also a father, was more pleasant company; with his daughter right there in his arms, he had not much reason to speculate on how much she had grown. 

Little Runís was still a baby, but being half-human she grew faster than usual, and Kíli was determined to become her favourite uncle and teach her how to prank her parents. 

“You are her only uncle”, Fíli pointed out when Kíli told him about his ambitions. 

“Only actual uncle. Everyone tries to be her honorary uncle.” He was quite sure he would succeed in spite of the competition. Gifts were nice, but what a child really wanted was knowledge. And not of the kind that was written down in books.  
They were sitting on one of the steps before the main gates, and as he looked towards the lake, Kíli thought about all the things he would teach his niece. Swimming, first of all. Fishing would come naturally afterwards. Skimming stones. All children loved skimming stones, and most of the older dwarves wouldn’t think of it. 

“I hope the new settlers will arrive soon”, Fíli said. “They should be here already, and if the weather doesn’t hold ...”

“It’s not winter anymore. It won’t be too bad”, replied Kíli, though he agreed – with their familie’s there, Glóin and Bombur might be able to finally talk about something else. 

“They have children with them.” Fíli’s eyes were on his daughter, who was crawling over the steps. “If they cross a river and the current is too strong ...”

Kíli blinked, squinted his eyes, and finally said: “Stop worrying.”

“I suppose Glóin and Bombur do enough worrying for all of us, but ...”

“No, I mean you can stop it.” Kíli grinned at what he had noticed. “There, don’t you see it? That must be them.”

Fíli intuitively grabbed one of his daughter’s arms before he looked at what Kíli had pointed out to him. He, too, took a good look at the movement in the distance. “Could be a trade caravan.”

“Maybe.” Kíli stood up. “I’ll tell the others. Gerrun should know whether traders are expected, at least if they trade in embroidery floss or dyes.”

Fíli nodded absent-mindedly, having released Runís and watching her closely again. 

 

Later that day, Kíli came to regret that he had pointed out the caravan. As it turned out, no trade caravan was expected, and it was most likely that those were the long expected family members and new settlers. 

“Why me?”, he pouted when his mother announced that he would have to greet the newcomers in the throne room. In formal attire, no less. 

“Because Fíli is busy, and it would be impolite to not have at least one of the two of you there. At this point, we have to show that we care about every single dwarf who is brave enough to come here, with only some vague idea of how to make a living.”

Kíli rolled his eyes. “If I must.”

In the end, he even agreed to let her braid his hair and decorate it with too many clasps, in exchange for the promise that it would be Fíli’s turn next time. After all, Fíli might have a daughter to look after, but Kíli had a niece, which was equally important, wasn’t it? 

 

There were, in Kíli’s opinion, too many dwarves in the throne room anyway. His mother had, apparently, forced everyone she could find into attending. Glóin and Bombur were probably there voluntarily, judging from their grins and the fact that they looked as if they had spent much of the day doing their hair. 

The light of countless torches gleamed on metal clasps and gemstones that were woven into the hair and beards of the two, and made Bombur’s hair shine even redder than usually. 

Dís sat on the throne, Thorin and Kíli stood on both sides of her. 

“Is this really necessary?” Kíli asked, for about the fifth time. “They’re practically relatives. We don’t have to impress them.”

“Not impress. Show that we care.” Dís replied. “Diplomacy. Thorin was never good at it, either.”

“Yes, but ... the throne room! You act as if they were some delegation from Gondor or somesuch.” He looked at his right sleeve. Runes, embroidered in silver thread. He looked ridiculous. 

“Don’t be silly. I wouldn’t even show my face if they were men. Dwarves have a right to be welcomed by the lady of the household.”

Kíli snorted. “It’s not a household, it’s a mountain.”

Dìs sighed, and Kíli was sure she would have scolded him some more if the newcomers hadn’t arrived at that moment. 

They looked like weary travelers, who didn’t care at all how they were received. Indeed, they looked as if they would have preferred to be given a meal first, and a fancy speech later, or not at all. 

Their clothes were ragged, their faces sweaty, and Bombur’s youngest children immediately ran to their father’s arms, without any respect for protocol. 

The elder children and the adults showed some more restraint, but no one seemed to even notice Dís. 

When he finally noticed that words were spoken, Kíli had already missed half of it. 

One of the newcomers had stepped forward, apparently introduced himself, and now bowed to Dís. 

“This is my brother Thorin, King under the Mountain.”

The newcomer’s leader bowed again. Thorin merely nodded. 

“My youngest son Kíli.”

Another bow. 

“My lady, we are honoured to be greeted by you in person.”

Kíli already disliked the guy. He disliked the polished speech, every word intonated in the same, old-fashioned way it must have been after the awakening of the first dwarves. 

He disliked the full plate armour – really, who needed that in times of peace – and he disliked the double-headed battleaxe that had been left behind with the other newcomers. 

Other introductions were made, ale was passed around, and finally Dís decided that they had talked enough and that it was time for a short break, drink, food and baths, before the arrival could be properly celebrated. 

Kíli fled from the throne room immediately, and jogged to his own room. Time was of the essence, he didn’t want to meet anyone in the hallways. 

In his bedroom, he changed out of the formal blue tunic into someting less exaggerated. He took out some of the hair clasps his mother had given him, and undid some of the braids. 

 

He had just stepped out of his bedroom, when he saw Gerrun. “Aren’t you going to attend the celebration?”, she asked. 

“Depends on whether mother allows me to stay away.”

“I was meaning to ask you to take care of Runís, so that Fíli and I can attend.” She was cradling the sleeping child in her arms. “I prepared some food for her, but I don’t think she will wake up soon. Someone should be there, just in case.”

“Awesome!” He had no idea why they would want to attend a celebration that he was sure would be more formal than fun, but he wouldn’t complain. Even changing Runís` diapers was more fun that standing around like a decorative statue just to show that mother ‘cared’. 

He took the sleeping child into his arms, carried her to his bed, and sat down in front of the fireplace to make some new arrows. 

Holding the feathers to the arrowshaft while the glue dried, Kíli hummed happily. Getting out of his formal duties by doing no work at all was just perfect. Truly, becoming an uncle was the best thing that had ever happened to him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was not very late when there was a knock at the door, and Fíli entered. “I can take over. You really should go – some of the newcomers are women.”

“I knew that already. Glóin and Bombur told me. Several times.”

Fíli rolled his eyes. “Unmarried women, stupid! Not so long ago, you wouldn’t stop talking about girls, and now that you have the opportunity ...”

“I had the opportunity at Summer Fair! If you hadn’t interfered ...”

“You were drunk and would only have embarrassed yourself. I did you a favour” Fíli whispered. “And apparently you didn’t like that girl enough to go and find her when you were sober again. Do what you want, I’ll go to bed.”

Runís chose exactly that moment to wake up, and giggled happily as her father took her into his arms. 

“Goodnight”, Fíli said softly, and walked out on tiptoes, even though the child was awake anyway. 

 

The next morning, Kíli went to breakfast with the faint hope to meet some pretty girls there. This hope was thouroughly crushed. Among the new faces, there was none that was particularly pretty. 

There was, in fact, no face he could even see properly, with all the beards. He went to fetch himself some bread and cold meat, and sat down next to Fíli. “Where’s Gerrun?”

“Still sleeping.” Fíli yawned. “A pity you weren’t there last night. It was great!”

“Lots of singing?” Kíli asked doubtful. 

“Yes. You would have felt right at home.”

“Mother made it sound as if it was going to be rather formal ...”

“It was, at the beginning, but in the end ... you know how it is. Someone starts singing a silly song ...” Fíli fell silent when a stranger approached them. 

“Excuse me, your highnesses? Is this seat taken?” No stranger, then. The dwarf with the annoyingly posh pronounciation. 

“Doesn’t look like it. Do sit down.” Fíli smiled. 

“Thank you, your highness.” The dwarf bowed slightly and sat down opposite to Kíli. 

He did, Kíli mused, not look much better than the day before. Rather worse. The armour had been replaced by grey and brown clothes, which would have been alright, if not for the intricate embroidery on all the hems.   
And that beard ... Kíli had no words for the beard. It looked like about a dozen small braids had been interwoven with each other to form a monstrosity, that was further decorated with metal clasps. 

The guy couldn’t be much older than him, but was already more traditional than the worst of the old dwarves. 

“I’ll go and see whether Gerrun wants breakfast already”, Fíli announced. “See you later!”

Traitor!

Now Kíli was alone with someone he was already sure he didn’t like. He would have preferred to not talk at all, but he could already imagine what mother would say. “So, you are a fighter?” he finally made an attempt at conversation. 

The other nodded. “Smith, miner, fighter.” A pause. Had that been it? “What is your weapon of choice, Prince Kíli?”

Prince! If they hadn’t been in public, Kíli would have punched him for that. Or maybe not. It was, after all, the correct title. Still, ridiculous. “Bow.” And don’t he dare make fun of it! 

“Oh, of course. I remember now. Your brother told me you are a highly skilled archer.”

“Yes.” He was sure he could see thinly veiled contempt on the other’s face. “There is more to it than just shooting, you know? I make my own arrows.”

“I thought so. One’s own work is always the most reliable, I found.”

Kíli talked some more, about string-making and bow-making, and he thought that, maybe, he could get over his initial dislike. 

However, when Kíli rose and said goodbye, the guy called him ‘Prince Kíli’ again.

 

Fuming, Kíli went to take his plate back to the kitchen. One of many in the mountain, the kitchen had before been a bit oversized for the number of dwarves living here at the moment, but they would soon have to clean and put to use another one when more people arrived. 

Glóin nodded at him. “Something wrong with you, lad?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t look happy.”   
Kíli growled. Glóin sure did look happy, and Kíli would just bet that he had volunteered for kitchen duty so that his wife would see (or taste) how his cooking skills had improved. 

“The newcomers are ... strange. Too traditional”, he finally admitted. 

Glóin shrugged. “Some of them hail from the Blue Mountains originally. You and the other young ones picked up a lot of things from men and el- ... halflings. Those who lived among our own kind their whole lives will appear a bit more traditional to you, I suppose. Is that a problem?”

“It is ridiculous. Some years ago, I was nobody. And now, to call me prince, it’s just ...”

Glóin chuckled. “You will get used to it, I dare say.”

“I don’t want to get used to it.” But he likely would have to, sooner or later. “Just promise that you won’t start to ‘your highness’ me, will you?”

“Of course ... lad.”

Kíli grinned. Much as he disliked to be reminded of his youth and, implicitly, lack of wisdom and experience, all dwarves of The Company had earned it, and ‘lad’ was worlds better than ‘your highness’. 

 

In the evening, after another stiffly polite chat with the traditionalist, Kíli was convinced that this was not merely the customs of the Blue Mountains. No. That dwarf tried to out-dwarf him, and was cheeky about it. 

Mother was delighted. “Of course I’ll braid your hair!”. 

While she did so, in the light of the next morning that fell through several mirrors and finely carved crystals into her room, she inevitably asked: “How come you changed your mind?”

“The newcomers”, he mumbled. “I thought it’s time I ...well. Wouldn’t want you to be ashamed of me.”

“I would never, my little one.” She combed a new strand of hair carefully, then started to braid. “You are my son, and whatever you decide to look like, I will never be ashamed of you.”

He swallowed. He had been childish, he suddenly thought. Childish and selfish. She loved him, he should have been more ready to compromise. “Thank you, ma.”

“Oh, shush, no need to get sentimental. You have always known that.”

Because she was so happy about his braided hair, he decided to wear an embroidered tunic, too. He did feel a bit silly in such a garment, but with all those runes on it, it was undeniably dwarfish, and the newcomer would stop to try and be dwarfier than Kíli ... hopefully. 

Kíli went to breakfast and had only just sat down when, to his horror, he saw Fíli approach, deep in conversation with the nasty newcomer. 

Not again!

He got his wish – the other took one look at Kíli, and then scurried off. 

Fíli came closer and nodded at him, grinning. “You look good, brother of mine. Trying to impress a certain someone?”

“What do you mean to imply?”

“Come on, I have always told you everything. Who caught your eye?”

“There is no certain someone. I just ... thought I should take more care to not appear ... un-dwarfish.”

Fíli shook his head, still smiling. “Of course.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU, Kíli did try his stupid pick-up lines on Tauriel, but the other conversation didn't take place, and he considers his attempt to flirt with Tauriel an embarrassing failure. 
> 
> I did some research to use the actual names of the stones, as this is from the point of view of a dwarf, and they wouldn't just think "a white stone" ... but it is probably still amateur-ish, and I threw together stones that don't turn up in the same area.

Except for Fíli’s teasing, his new look had been very effective, and Kíli was quite proud of his idea. 

A few weeks later, though, he began to suspect that the effect began to wear off. There were more forcedly polite chats, and Kíli began to suspect that the nasty traditionalist was following him.   
He was in the front row of listeners when Kíli played the fiddle. He was there, watching intently, when Kíli was entrusted with watching Runís while she played on the rug in front of the big fireplace in the hall. Had the cheek to chuckle when Runís pulled at Kíli’s braids. One time, Kili even caught him, watching from afar, while Kíli practised archery on a sunny slope of the mountain. 

Kíli had had quite enough of it. The next time he saw it happen, he could confront the guy about it. It would be hard to put his accusation into words, as the places were all perfectly public, but still. He could expect, could he not, to not be unduly often bothered with the company of someone he disliked that much?

 

The next time happened to be after Kíli had just landed a particularly satisfying hit in the centre of the bale of straw that served him as practise target. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a movement, and spun around, drawing his shortsword in the process. That guy, again! Looming in the distance as if stalking a deer. Well, at least he was harmless, so Kíli sheathed his sword. 

To Kìli’s surprise, the guy walked directly towards him. Then, in some steps distance bowed. “Excuse me, Prince Kíli. I do not intend to disturb you. Just one short moment of your time?”

“Sure?” He was too surprised even to be angry. 

“On my way here, I happened to find this.” He held out his palm, and Kíli had to look for a second time to see that there was a tiny pebble on it. “Just saw it and thought you might like it.”

Kíli stared at it. Was this a joke? That was a completely worthless piece of feldspar. Something that had, admittedly, been just picked up from the wayside. What would he want with it? Was this an attempt to insult him? 

“Would you do me the honour of accepting it?”

“Alright.” He took it, and stared at it. Why had he even accepted it? Possibly because he didn’t know what to say. 

The realization hit him when the other dwarf had already walked away again. He remembered a day, some years ago, when he had seen Fíli busy looking through pebbles, to find just the right one. 

He was being courted. 

Kíli stumbled towards his target, and sat down on the bale of straw. He was being courted. This could not be happening. He was quite sure it could not be happening. It must be some kind of tasteless joke. 

“Kíli? You alright? You look like you got a sunstroke!”

Fíli. Good old Fíli. Just who he needed now. 

In a heartbeat, Fíli was at his side. “Mahal, Kili, drink something!”

“No, it’s not ... I’m alright.”

“You don’t look like it.”

“This ... just happened.” Helplessly he held up the pebble. “I ... I ....”

“Oh.” Fíli smiled. “You are being courted?”

“There is no other reason for someone to give me this, is there?”, he replied weakly. 

“I suppose not.” Fíli sat down on the ground before him. “It is a very tiny stone. Someone very shy, eh? What do you want to do about it?”

“What ...?”

“Accept or reject. You know.”

“I ... I have no idea.” 

“Get out of the sun. If you aren’t already sun-struck, then you will be before you made up your mind.”

Kíli nodded, put the pebble into the small pocket at his quiver, took the arrow out of the straw, and removed the bowstring from his bow, before he trotted towards the secret door, which he had left open so he could return whenever he wanted. 

Fíli walked next to him. “It was bound to happen. You look very fetching in your new style.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Oh. Sorry. Well, you do know mother worked beauty runes into that tunic, do you?”

“This one?” Kíli looked at himself. He wore a frayed old tunic. 

“Not this one, the new, blue one you wear so often now. Mother made one for each of us for Spring Fair, back then. Don’t you remember?”

Kíli scoffed. “As if I could ever forget it. You fussed so much about your looks that day ...”

“Gerrun liked it.”

“You think ... the runes ... forced ....”

Fíli clapped a hand on his back. “Brother dear, do you really think our mother would do something like that? All the rune does is to make you look a bit better than you usually would. Not enough to force anyone into anything. Not that it matters – you don’t wear it just now.”

“No ....” He felt dizzy. It was all so confusing. How could he hate someone who ... liked him?

 

Suddenly, they were at the door to his room, and Fíli shoved him inside. “There, sit down, or maybe take a nap. I’ll be next door if you need me.”

He barely had the energy left to place his bow in its holder carefully. That done, he slumped down in a stone chair. 

The guy – he didn’t even know his name! – was courting him. And suddenly, everything appeared in a different light. What if .... that stiff politeness, the posh accent, the elaborately braided beard ... if that had not been to outdo him, but to ... impress him? Him? No, that was impossible ...

And still, there was the tiny piece of feldspar. 

He had only ever thought about the other’s looks in terms of competition. Now, though ... now he realised that he was being courted by someone extremely attractive. And it made him dizzy, and warm, even though he was in his nice, cool room under the mountain. 

When he had recovered a bit, Kíli took the pebble out of the pocket at the quiver, and placed it on one of the empty stone bookshelves that were carved into the stone of his room. Perhaps more would follow?

The warmth he felt at the thought was not at all like sunstroke. It came from within, like the warmth deep inside the mines. 

There was a knock at the door. 

“Yes?”

“It’s me.”

“Come in.” His brother was the only person with whom he could talk about this at all. Even though it did still feel weird. 

“Recovered from your shock?”

“A bit. I don’t quite know what to do.”

Fíli sat down on the floor next to him and rested his head against Kíli’s knees. “Why? It is rather simple, compared to human courting rituals. Either you give a gift in return, or you don’t.”

“I know. I just ... everyone lives so close together here, and I ...” There was no place to flee. After the humiliation he suffered in Mirkwood, they had left, and he didn’t have to think about is anymore. But here ...

“It has always been that way, Ki. That’s why everyone is so cautious. See, it is a very tiny pebble, and she did say she just picked up one she happened to see on the wayside, didn’t she?”

“Yes ...” 

“That is a white lie, of course, but it indicates that there will be no hard feelings if you don’t reciprocate. You got the very tiniest of gifts, no one will lose face if you don’t give one in return.”

“It is so confusing.”

“What? That someone should fall in love with you? Well ... I am surprised, too.” Fíli stood up. “Considering what a pest you are ...”

Kíli half-heartedly tried to punch him, and Fíli evaded with ease. “No, seriously, I know I’m Mahal’s gift to women, but ... I don’t have a beard.” It was more practical with the bow, and he rather liked the look, but now ... 

“Don’t think too much about it. Gerrun doesn’t seem to mind that I am more hairy than what she’s used to, so the reverse is probably also possible.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kíli decided that it couldn’t hurt to try ... not too much, at least. He spent the evening looking for an appropriate gift, and, just before sunset, found a piece of mica that the thought was fitting. 

He asked Fíli to braid his hair anew before dinner. Again and again he looked at himself in the polished silver mirror, and also felt for the gift in his pocket. 

Then, finally, he went to the hall. His eyes searched the long tables for his ... admirer? But it was no use, he was nowhere to be seen. 

Disappointed, Kíli sat down for the meal. 

In the night, he could hardly sleep. Again and again he thought of the moment when the dwarf whose name he didn’t even know, had offered him that piece of feldspar. 

To think that he would almost have refused to accept it! He never had intended to hurt someone in such a way. In fact, he was not a worthy object of such affection. Didn’t even know what to do with it. He would probably ruin everything. 

In the safety of his bed, Kíli sighed deeply. Such things were too complicated for him. He wanted to stay a carefree youth.   
Not that he was one anymore, he still had nightmares of the night when he had failed to notice what took their ponies, and Bilbo almost got killed ... they all had almost gotten killed, but somehow, the prospect of dying himself didn’t seem so bad in comparison to having caused the death of another. To live with that ... he shuddered. 

Still, at daytime, he was able to forget that. With the dwarves he knew, all was fine, they knew he was a “pest” as Fíli put it, and they accepted it ... sure, Dwalin had been angry at him after he told Ori that the wedding night would be the worst night in his life ... but eventually, even Dwalin had forgiven him, and didn’t hold a grudge. 

Now, though ... flirting with human women or elves was one thing ... but courting, with a dwarf, that was serious. He would have to act like an adult. Try to not ruin it. No dumb jokes. No pranks. 

The prospect was frightening. 

 

At breakfast, the disappointment of the evening repeated. When he went to bed the next time, Kíli was thoroughly confused. Why first follow him around every step he did, start to court him, and then, suddenly, vanish? It made no sense. 

It would all have been easier if he knew the name of his admirer ... or dared to ask for it. But Fíli would never ever let him forget that he had had to ask for the name of a dwarf who courted him. And to ask someone else ... no, that would be even more embarrassing. Maybe he could one day ask Gerrun’s mother. She only visited every couple of days, and didn’t chat with anyone too much, and she didn’t seem like a gossip ...

In the meantime, though, Kíli would have to work around that problem.

 

So he waited. And waited. His admirer seemed to have disappeared. Though the actual disappearance of a miner would have been known, so it was probably just a case of not wanting to be seen. But why?  
They hadn’t even met, so Kíli couldn’t have ruined it already, right? It was annoying. 

When Kíli was on kitchen duty the next time, he took great care to look at all the bearded faces of the dwarves who went to the kitchen counter to fetch their meal. 

He didn’t find what he was looking for. What he did find, however, was a dwarf who held out two bowls. “For my friend.”

 

Kíli filled both bowls with the stew that was tonight’s meal. Then, he passed the ladle to Fíli. “Just a moment please? I’m in a hurry.”

His hunting experience was useful in pursuing a dwarf through a hall full of people. 

Just as he had suspected, the friend for whom the second bowl was intended was exactly the dwarf Kíli had been looking for the past couple of days. They were hiding in a dark corner, far enough from the fire to be easily overlooked. 

Kíli stepped forward. “Um. For you.” He placed his gift on the table and ran away before anyone could say anything. 

Was this even wanted? Clearly, the other dwarf had tried to avoid him. But why? Why? There was no dwarf who even remotely looked like Kíli, so the gift could not have been an accident. 

Well, he would know soon enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope my memory is correct on what happened when they were attacked by those trolls. If not ... well, the story is AU anyway.

After another near-sleepless night, Kíli went to breakfast without much hope, and rather late. To his surprise he found his admirer, amiably chatting with Gerrun and Fìli. 

When Kíli approached, however, silence fell over the table as they all stared at him, expectantly. 

“Good morning?”

Gerrun and Fíli replied, but the only thing Kíli heard was a half-mumbled “Good morning, your highness”.

No longer was he angry at being called “highness”, he just wanted to hug the dwarf and tell him that it was ‘Kíli’ for him.

Kíli sat down. “It was difficult to find you”, he said as casually as he could manage. Then, angry at himself, tried to take the edge of accusation off his words. “You have not been well the past few days?” 

A nod. “I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

“No! I mean, it was not inconvenience, really! I am just ... just glad you are better now.” How could he ever have thought the dwarf arrogant? The exaggerated way of talking was obviously just how he thought he had to behave in the presence of royalty. 

“Very kind of you.”

The tension relaxed somewhat after this exchange, and they talked of other things, such as the tasks they had been assigned for this day. 

“I will work in the mines until mid-afternoon”, Kíli’s admirer said cautiously. “After that, I will go for a walk. If it would please your highness to accompany me ...”

“Where will you walk?” His heart raced. He was not used to this. He had flirted with human women, and some had not rejected him, but there was a difference between not being rejected and being ... desired. Never before had someone shown him so openly that he preferred Kíli’s company to that of everyone else. 

 

Kìli had volunteered to clean another one of the kitchens in the mountain, together with Fíli. His mind was not on the task, but the rusty iron pans didn’t mind, and neither did Runís, who watched her father and uncle with big blue baby eyes from the makeshift enclosure of benches that they hoped would keep her from crawling anywhere dangerous. 

Kíli just hoped that his admirer was able to concentrate better – the mines were a much more dangerous place to let your mind wander. 

“Looking forward to the afternoon?” Fíli winked at him, as he had done so often when Fíli had been courting Gerrun. 

Kíli nodded. 

“You really made a catch there. Who would have thought! You and a dwarf!”

That, he guessed, was the revenge for his teasing about Gerrun – he had mercilessly reminded Fíli of his former opinion that human women were much too tall and thin for his liking. 

“Nothing is certain, yet.” Better not to hope for something he might never have. 

Fíli chuckled. “Not yet, but there are no cultural differences to get in the way, so you’ll have it easy.”

 

Afternoon came, and Kíli washed thoroughly before he changed into a new tunic – green, with grey embroidery – and went looking for someone to help him braid his hair. 

He decided to ask Gerrun, as she was least likely to tease him about it.

“Your mother is really happy”, she told him while she combed his hair. “It means a lot to her that you like her embroidery now.”

He hummed his agreement. “It is beautiful in its way. Men don’t wear such things, though ...”

“True.” She parted his hair and began to braid. “That was one of the first things that I noticed about Fíli, I think. That he makes such an effort to be nice to look at. I have no idea why the men of Laketown don’t ... or probably, I do. Most women have to marry for safety. Looks are not as important.”

“Safety?”

“Yes, you know ... having enough money to make a living. If you aren’t self employed, you get paid rather poorly, as a woman. And then there is ... well, it is just safer to have a man in the house.”

Gerrun was very good at braiding, and done in almost no time. “I often do it for Fíli”, she explained when she fixed the last clasp in his braids. “So you don’t need to worry it might not be dwarfish enough. Now, off you go. Have fun.”

 

Kíli was much too nervous to even think of having fun. As soon as he arrived at the gates, he began to worry that maybe he was late. Or much too early. 

“Your highness?”

He turned around. “Oh.” It would really be convenient to have a name to connect to this voice. And face. And lovely braided beard. “I hope you had a nice day?”

“A very nice day. What about you?”

As they left the mountain, Kíli just had to talk about Runís – his little niece was adorable, and everything she had done that day was worth telling, except for the parts when he had had to change her diapers. When he noticed that he was indeed talking a bit much, and sounded almost like Glóin, he fell silent.

“You are very patient with her. I ... watched you.”

Kíli blushed. “I know. That you watched me, I mean. Am I patient? I don’t know, it would be hard to be impatient with her, she’s ... well, she’s a child.” 

The other dwarf merely nodded. “Would you tell me about your adventures?”

“Sure.” 

Kíli decided to start with the trolls. When he arrived at the part where the trolls had told them to let their weapons fall, he made a dramatic pause. 

“And? What did you do?”

“Uncle Thorin ordered us to do as they said ...”

“And you obeyed?”

“Stupid thing to do, I know. But he was in charge, and mother told me and Fíli to do as he says.”

“You would have done every foolish thing he would demand of you?”

“No ... no, of course not. That was different. We couldn’t get Bilbo killed.” Now that he thought about it, Bilbo would have liked his admirer. True, he had never called even Thorin “your highness”, but Kíli suspected that was because they didn’t have kings in the Shire. Bilbo was a very prim and proper gentlehobbit, and would maybe even imitate that form of address if taught that it was considered appropriate ... 

“What happened next?”

“Well ... we all got captured, naturally, and then Bilbo came up with that splendid idea ...”

When he described how they all had pretended to have parasites, he heard a strange noise. Laughter, Kíli realized. His admirer was laughing. As if it was infectious, Kíli started laughing himself. 

“How was your journey here?” he asked, after he had recovered a bit (but was still holding his sides). 

“Rather uneventful in comparison to yours. There were no trolls, just some hordes of male men.” 

“Did you fight?”

“Aye. There was the horde that threatened to kill the male and rape the female dwarves.” His admirer glanced at him. “My apologies, I forgot how young you are ...”

“I’m not a child. I have heard of such things.”

“No one should need to know about it, though. One of them almost touched young Gimli`s beard before I got him.” There was anger in his voice. “I am afraid the story of that is rather short. They were outcasts, so we killed them and that was it. Good thing we didn’t have to negotiate their fates with men.”

Kíli nodded. The story, he was sure, could be told in a rather long way, about the heroic deeds of a dwarf wielding a double headed axe. Maybe there was a story about that? “I noticed your axe. It is a fine piece of smithery.”

“Oh. Thank you. I made it myself.”


	6. Chapter 6

When he washed himself before going to bed that evening, Kíli found himself daydreaming about the courtship gifts to come. When Dwalin had fought without his shirt on in order to impress Ori, Kíli had considered it rather silly, but now he could see the appeal. Of course that would not happen, not with a smith. His thoughts turned to muscular arms, glistening with sweat, and the rhythmic sound of a hammer ... thinking of rhythmic things, he wondered how the sex would be ...   
With considerable effort, he stopped that line of thought and finished washing. That night, he had a weird dream in which he was a piece of iron, and his lover’s arms were the forge in which he was heated.

In the morning, waking up, it took some time until he realized that he was not on an anvil, being thoroughly pounded by a very skillful smith, but in his bed. Alone. With a frustrated sigh, he grabbed the rag he always kept under the bedside table, and began to take care of the little problem his dream had left him with. 

He shortly considered skipping breakfast – how could he look his admirer in the eyes after such a dream? Though that would have provoked questions, and while there were all sorts of rumours about elves, he was reasonably sure no dwarf had ever mastered the art of mind-reading. 

Except Fíli, who often seemed to be very good at guessing. Or knowing what Kíli was thinking before Kíli himself knew it, actually. 

He need not have worried. To look into those wonderful, warm dark eyes was not difficult at all. The admiration he saw there cured him of any and all embarrassment he might have felt. 

As time went by, and their courting gifts increased in size, Kíli noticed that this feeling was permanent. His old companion, the feeling of inadequacy, fled whenever he was with his love. There was no need to compete against Fíli, he could just be himself. 

And to his surprise, his self was somewhat different from what he showed in front of groups of dwarves. Witty answers were an option, not a duty. Taking risks was not required. Showing off his courage was not necessary. 

He did get his wish to teach someone how to skip stones, however. Although it was already autumn, there still were sunny days, and some were warm enough to go down to the lake in the afternoons. 

“Four skips!” He grinned triumphantly. 

“You are very talented, Prince Kíli.”

Some day, he would insist on first names. As soon as he had found out his love’s first name, probably. “Now, you try?”

The stone sunk like, well, a stone. 

“It took me a long time to learn that”, Kíli remarked. “Though I am not a fast learner in general.”

“No?”

“Really not. Actually, I have to confess something to do with that.”

“Confess?” The other raised his eyebrows in mocking surprise. “A horrible secret of your past?” 

Kíli grinned. That would not be so bad. “You be the judge of that. I committed the horrible crime to forget your name after you first introduced. I am so sorry – it was a long day and I was stressed out and didn’t pay attention ... I actually don’t know your name to this day.”

“No worries. I did think you looked like you’d rather be elsewhere, back then.” His love smiled understandingly, and took a step backwards to have enough room to bow. “Dorn, daughter of Môrn. Honoured to make your acquaintance” 

Kíli stared. ‘Daughter of ...’? But ... he had been so sure ... He blinked. Yes, now that he knew, he could tell. The curve he sometimes saw at her chest when the fabric of her woolen tunic fell in a certain way. Her lovely voice, in the higher range of the voices of men, but too deep for a woman ... a human woman.

Mahal! He had been courting a woman without knowing it! Had he known, he would have ... what? Been more polite? He already did his very best, even though he suspected it was not much. Tried one of the lines he had heard from men? Maybe that wouldn’t have been the best idea. As things were, he was perfectly content with where his ignorance had led him. 

“Are you alright?”

He nodded. “Just ... I can’t believe I forgot such a beautiful name as yours.”

 

Dorn. His love had a name now. Though he was not sure what to do with his newly gained knowledge. Just carry on like before? Beforehand, he had somehow assumed he was the woman in the relationship, the one who was to be courted and pursued and desired. And admittedly, he had enjoyed that. Now he would have to get used to the reverse. 

It was deeply confusing. In the night, he found himself daydreaming about being held by strong arms ... but that was wrong, he couldn’t ... he should think about her breasts. Yes. Now he knew why he had liked that curve so much when he saw it. The slightest of curves, barely visible even under a thin tunic ... how would it look naked?

The next morning, Dorn didn’t keep him company for breakfast, and he was already starting to worry she might have changed her mind and was now angry at him for forgetting her name, when she approached him. 

“Can we go outside for a moment?”, she asked. 

“Sure.” 

Dorn seemed nervous. Rather her natural state until recently, but he had enjoyed to make her laugh and relax a little. 

They went through one of the smaller doors, and out of the sight of the guard at the door. Only then did Dorn break the silence. “I, um, have something for you.”

“A gift?” Then why the secrecy? They had been exchanging courting gifts openly for quite a while now. 

“Yes.” She leaned against the smooth, carved stone wall as if she needed the support. “It is something I made myself.” Out of her pocket she took a small piece of metal, somewhat shaped like a coin, with a hole through it - a pendant. 

“The rune is for good luck, and ... I know it may be to much too early ...” 

Kíli took it. The rune was beautifully made, and had that slightly eerie feeling about it, like the embroideries of his mother. How could he ever express how much he liked it? 

“I know it is not very good, I am but a beginner, and ...”

She fell silent when Kíli brought his face closer to hers, and closed her mouth when he kissed her. 

For a moment, the feelings of her soft lips against his, her soft beard curls against his face, was pure bliss. 

Then he noticed that she was not kissing him back. Shoved him away. 

And then, she was running back towards the door, while Kíli watched her, with dawning horror. 

She had not wanted the kiss! And, even worse, she had not reacted as she should. Kíli was pretty sure he deserved a slap to the face. That was what women did if they didn’t like a kiss. Had she slapped him, he would know how to react. But to this, he was helpless. 

He couldn’t have said, later, how long he had stood there until he heard footsteps. His faint hope that Dorn had returned was crushed when he saw his brother. 

“Fíli ...”

“What happened? Dorn came back in alone, and she was upset! What did you do?!”

“I ... I just kissed her.”

“Kissed her?”

“She didn’t like it.”

The slap hurt more than he thought it would. Fíli was glaring at him. “How could you?!”

“I ... she gave me this.” He held up the pendant. “And I didn’t know what to say, and she was so nervous, and ... it just seemed like a good idea at the moment.” Tears ran over his face. “I didn’t want to offend her, really!”

“Oh Kí.” Fíli opened his arms, and Kíli stepped towards him and let himself be hugged. “My poor, stupid little brother.”

Kíli felt a bit better. At least he had been slapped now, as he deserved. Dorn was avenged. “Is she very upset?”

“When she came back in, she was so pale that I asked the guard whether we were under attack when she wouldn’t tell me what happened.”

“Oh. Where is she now?” 

“No idea. She left the hall with the other miners. Maybe she went to work.”

To work. That meant he would only see her again in the evening. If at all. “You were right. I’m a pest and a nuisance, and it is a wonder she only noticed that now.”

“Shush, that’s nonsense. Alright, maybe you are a nuisance sometimes, but you are our nuisance, and besides, what you did just now is not part of who you are.” 

“I’m not sure.” Was it? He didn’t want it to be, but ...

“I am. Dorn was happy with you up to now, just look at her gift! She could have publicly accused you of molesting her, you know that. If she hasn’t done so until evening, you should try to apologize.”

“Yes .... please, Fí, make sure she’s alright. She didn’t even slap me. And the mines are dangerous, and ...” And he could have been ambushed by a troll without noticing a thing right now. She must feel so much worse. And so much more distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This reveal was inspired by the Discworld dwarves, whose courtship customs include tactfully finding out what sex the other dwarf is. Now, for Tolkien dwarves, it doesn't seem to be so difficult, but Kíli is a bit estranged of dwarven culture, and just had the beard=male equation in his head. (It is my headcanon that Kíli has internalized the beauty ideal of men, because that is the only way his behaviour in the movies makes sense.)
> 
> As for the runes, I leave it to you if you want to believe that they are magical. The dwarves certainly do believe they are. There are runes for ordinary writing, which may or may not look the same as the runes used for protection, etc, but only female dwarves are taught how to imbue runes with supernatural power. (To them, it is not supernatural, but very natural and definitely not the same thing as elf magic. Obviously. In their worldview, it is sufficiently advanced science, not magic.) What is certain is that the effect is rather subtle. Though it may be that Dís' skill had something to do with the fact that her brother and sons survived in this AU ...


	7. Chapter 7

The day passed slowly, and that was not just because Kíli had, out of some wish to punish himself, volunteered to clean the privies. 

After work, Kíli went to the baths, where water from warm underground wells fell into pools, like a waterfall, just warmer. 

He scrubbed himself thoroughly, changed clothes, and took a way he hadn’t walked in a long time. Kíli had not really bothered to take with him the fourteenth part of the treasure that was his. It was more than he would ever need in his lifetime, after all, and he wouldn’t know where to store it anyway. 

Balin, who was guarding the treasure, greeted him with a nod. 

There were all sorts of items that had sentimental value, they had been sorted and put on display. There also was a heap of mixed jewels and gold coins, and it was from this heap that Kíli selected a diamond. 

He took it to Balin, who weighed it and noted in his book who had taken the diamond. “You sure that is a good idea, lad?”, he asked when he handed it back to Kíli. “I heard you are courting, and ...”

“Yes, it is. I am sure.” Dorn deserved the best. He would have taken an even bigger diamond if he had not liked the cut of this one most. 

It was hard to find her in the big hall, but eventually, he spotted her in the very same corner where she had hidden away after giving him her first gift. 

He walked there before he could lose his courage. “Dorn?”

She turned around and glared at him. “What?”

He swallowed. “I ... just wanted to tell you that I didn’t mean to cause offense. Just wanted to show my gratitude for your gift. This is for you.” He placed the diamond on the table, and, when she didn’t respond immediately, fled to the table where Gerrun, Runís and Fíli were sitting. 

“A rather short apology”, Fíli said in a hushed voice. 

“I’m not good with words.”


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days were torment for Kíli. His only consolation was the pendant, which he kept in his pocket and clutched in his hand. The cool iron calmed him. Dorn had made this for him. She loved him. Maybe she would forgive him. 

Despite all his hopes, the diamond had not changed her mind. She still hid away from him, and seemed to spend all her free time in her room, as he never saw her in public places. 

Five days after the kiss, Dorn had still neither forgiven him nor brought charges against him. Kíli was on the way to the kitchen to fetch his midday meal when he heard the whispers. One of the miners had found a diamond. 

Further inquiries revealed that the miner who had found the diamond (not particularly big, but at least middling), was Dorn. 

Even better, there would be a great celebration in the evening, to honour Dorn’s contributions to the general wellbeing. 

Maybe, just maybe, he would see her happy again. 

 

Evening came. Dorn, however, did not. In her stead, her friend came to Dís, and handed her something. 

“I have been informed”, Dís announced in a thundering voice. “That the guest of honour does not intend to participate in the celebrations. She asks to not wait for her. Have fun.”

Kíli had just walked over to his mother to ask her what the letter was about, when she glared at him. “To my rooms. Now”, she hissed. 

Was Dorn ill? Was it his fault? He hurried to get to his mother’s rooms. 

 

She closed the door behind them. “What have you done, Kíli?”

“I ...” he swallowed. “I ... kissed her. Fíli said if she didn’t decide to bring charges, it would be alright for me to try and apologize, and ...”

“You did what? My own son? Have I raised you to molest women?”

Kíli stumbled backwards. “I am sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

“Oh, really? You accidentally kissed her? How did that happen?”

“No, not that. I wanted to kiss her, I just didn’t know she didn’t want it, and ...”

“You didn’t know she didn’t want it? Did she tell you she wanted to be kissed?” Her hand was now at the collar of his tunic, and he suspected she was only gentle out of respect for her own handiwork, not his comfort. 

“No ...” 

“Then why did you do it?!” 

“It ... seemed like a good idea at the time ...” As if he hadn’t already spent many sleepless nights thinking about that. “What did she write? Is she alright? Is she alive?”

At that, his mother’s face softened somewhat. “Aye. Alive, she is. At least I hope so. Alright, though, she is not. Which is entirely your fault. It says in her letter that you insulted her more than one time.”

“Can I read it?”

His mother frowned. At last, she nodded. “It seems to imply that she wants you to read it. Here.”

 

“ Most revered Lady Dís, 

With great regret I inform you that I feel I must leave. You may know I have been courting your son, Prince Kíli. Apparently this was, on his side, based on a misunderstanding. He was, I have been informed, not aware that I am but a poor commoner, and have no relations to nobility whatsoever. Please do not think I am so fickle as to want to leave just because of a failed courtship. It is the fact that your son, after he learnt who I am, showed me very clearly that he holds no respect for my person in any way, that makes me wish to leave and never return.   
It was foolish of me to think he could love me, and I apologize that I ever dared to court your son, who I now know is much too high above me to ever take an interest in my lowly self. 

I hope that the diamond I found will sufficiently compensate you for the generosity you showed me. With this letter, I leave the diamond Prince Kíli gave me, for to return it to him would be rude, but to take it with me, I could not endure, as the message it bore was that I am unworthy to court the dwarf I love. 

Please do tell everyone not to worry about me, and have fun at the celebration. And please know that I hold no grudge against you or your son. He will understand why I could not tell him all this in person. 

Farewell, 

Dorn, daughter or Môrn.”

 

When he finished reading, tears were already rolling down his face. “I will follow her.”

“No, you will not. She leaves because she doesn’t want to see you. Really, Kíli, I don’t know what you are thinking!” 

“It is a misunderstanding! I have to tell her!” Dorn thought he considered her unworthy. Oh, he should have known! He should have told her to call him Kíli, immediately. 

“How do you explain the diamond? The one you gave her? Did you think it was a piece of quartz?”

“I had to make up for my behaviour! For what I did, I should have given her the Arkenstone! I don’t know how she could think I ... where does she even get the idea?”

She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, she looked incredibly tired. “You really don’t know?”

“No.” He didn’t even know what it was he didn’t know. 

His mother sat down in her stone chair. “Then it is my fault. Maybe I left too much of your education to Fíli.”

“It’s not his fault!”

“He was a child. I couldn’t expect him to teach you everything I have taught him. And courting is something you should learn from your peers ... but obviously didn’t.” She leaned back. “What did you expect? She found a diamond, yes, but did you expect that? What did you think she would give to you after you gave her that diamond?”

“I ... don’t know, maybe another pendant ... how is that important?”

“She is from a poor family and came here with nothing but her tools and the clothes on her back. What could she have given you to match or outmatch a diamond of that size?”

“Something like this?” He showed her the pendant. 

“That is iron. Hardly as valuable as a diamond.”

“What? Have you looked at it? There’s a rune on it, and it ... it is real! It’s more beautiful than any old diamond!”

She shook her head. “That is all true, but the diamond is not something you made yourself. You cannot measure its worth in that way.”

Kíli frowned. “So ... so ... I insulted her by giving her that diamond?”

“Yes. Not as much, however as you did by kissing her without invitation. How did you ... Thorin never was a bad example, was he? Or Fíli ...”

“I ... I think I saw it in the villages and towns of men ... they always do it that way. You kiss a woman, and if she doesn’t like it she slaps you, and then it’s settled, and ...”

“And what? You already made her uncomfortable, and her slapping you will not undo that.”

“I know.” That was the worst. ‘Holds no respect for my person in any way.’ That was how he had made her feel. He didn’t even have room in his heart to be ashamed of himself, as it was full of sadness. “Is there nothing I can do, now, to right my wrongdoings?”

“It is unlikely that she will ever return.” His mother sighed. “But you should write a letter and explain yourself. She shall not bring news back to the Blue Mountains that we are snobbish and look down on hard-working dwarves because of what their ancestors did or didn’t do.”

“And how will she get that letter if I am not allowed to follow her?”

“We send a messenger. A human one, I think. Their horses are faster than our ponies, and we don’t know for how long she has already been gone. Her friend found her room empty except for the diamond and letter.”


	9. Chapter 9

When she heard the sound of hooves, Dorn hurriedly led Amethyst off the path, and waited until the male man had passed. She burrowed her face in the pony’s rough fur to give herself the privacy to shed a few tears. It hurt. It had started hurting when Kíli had reacted to her gift by assaulting her. 

In that moment, he had been just like the male man who had molested poor young Gimli. And it had never stopped hurting ever since. Her beloved Kíli, who had made her laugh, who was so enthusiastic about his archery, who doted so adorably on his niece ... at his core, he was like the men she hated. 

And yet, her heart ached at the thought that she would never see him again. But it was the only way. She could not bear to look at him, and know that he had never been, could never be, what she had seen in him. 

She was not even sure if the diamond hadn’t been an attempt to buy her, as male men did buy female men – oh yes, she knew of it, she had lost every last bit of her youthful innocence on the journey to Erebor. 

Though it was more likely he just had wanted to insult her, to show her her place, after she had not submitted to his assault. 

 

Not too long afterwards it started raining, and when Dorn arrived at the next village that had an inn, she was soaked to the skin. 

She reminded the lad who was responsible for the horses to take good care of Amethyst – the mine pony was hardy and would survive any kind of bad treatment for one night, but she deserved to be dry and comfortable. 

For Dorn, it did hardly make a difference. She was miserable now that she was wet, and she would still be miserable when she was dry. 

When she stepped into the inn, she smelled wet wool and smoke, and stew. 

“Mister Dwarf?”

She turned her head. The man who had spoken was male, of average height for a man, and wore unremarkable clothes. Like many men, he lacked a beard. 

“I believe I have a letter for you.”

A letter, for her? “You must be mistaken. My name is Dorn.”

“That’s who the letter is for. Here. I was told you would pay me after reading it.”

She took the letter. The handwriting she did not recognize, but the writing runes said it was for her. Must be from Erebor. “I will. Can you wait a while?”

“I’m not going anywhere today.” He nodded towards the window, from where the pitter-patter of rain against closed blinds was to be heard. 

The innkeeper informed her that there were rooms available, so she paid for one, and walked up the stairs. It was just habit, it was unlikely, bordering on impossible that any of the men could read runes or understand the language. She definitely did not hope that the message would have any impact on her feelings. Because it could not be from Kíli. She had already gone through all possible explanations in her head, and there was not one that was satisfying. Kíli could not feel for her as she felt for him. He would have acted differently, then. 

Maybe the letter was from Dís, revealing that Kíli had a nasty twin brother? Dorn chuckled darkly at her own desperation. 

It was silly. The letter likely was from Dís, expressing concern and wishing her well, or something like that. 

She opened it when she had closed the door of the cold room behind her. 

“Dearest Dorn.

I love you.”

Now, she was glad she had sought privacy. For moments, she could do nothing but stare at the first few words of the letter. It could not be from Kíli. Impossible. But she had to read it to find out. 

“I am so sorry, and there is no excuse for what I did.” Alright, maybe it was from Kíli. 

“I never meant to cause you any harm at all. It is not customary among humans to talk about kissing, and I spent too much time with men in my youth, and picked up bad habits, though I won’t make a habit of that, I swear!”

She was hallucinating. She was lying half-dead on the road somewhere, and this was the Maker’s idea on how to comfort her in her last moments. Dorn smiled. It was good comfort. Though she was still wet, she felt warmth in her heart. 

“That’s why I didn’t ask whether you wanted me to kiss you, I just guessed you would like it, and was wrong, and I have regretted that every waking moment since. I hold the highest respect for you, and if we ever meet again, I will not touch a hair on your head without your explicit permission, I promise! And I don’t care that you are a commoner, Gerrun is a commoner, too, and no one cares at all! I just wanted to give you something valuable because you deserve all the diamonds in the world, and I just didn’t think about what you could give me next, and I really didn’t expect anything, and I’m so terribly sorry!”

Oh Kíli. She remembered ... he always talked like that when he was nervous. So cute. Her thumb stroked the ink without her even noticing it at first. 

“I know I can’t ask you to come back after what I did, but I want you to know that I am sorry and would behave, and if you don’t want to I would not even talk to you! I don’t wear your pendant, because I don’t deserve it and I’m not sure you would want me to, so no one needs to know that we were courting, and we could just pretend like nothing happened? You had your reasons to come here, and you shouldn’t be the one to leave just because I can’t behave myself.   
Mother wishes to tell you that we are not snobbish, and she would be delighted to have you as daughter in law, and in case you decide against returning, please not tell anyone in the Blue Mountains that we are snobbish, because we aren’t, and everyone is welcome so settle here. “

It took Dorn some time to realize that the water dripping onto the letter was not just rain, but also tears. 

Could it be true? 

The letter ended with the request to pay the messenger. A thin silver coin had been glued to the paper for that very purpose. 

Dorn folded the letter again, put it into the bag with her belongings, and selected a bigger silver coin from her own purse. 

The messenger received it gratefully, it was obviously more than he had expected. “Will there be an answer?”

“No.”

Dorn ordered some food and sat down near the fireplace. Now, there was a chance that she would feel better when she was not wet anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write, and I hope I did well ... it is difficult to write about violation of consent between lovers, especially if you belong to a culture where most people like to pretend that there is no such thing, (marital rape is illegal in my country only since 1997 ... imagine that), and I hope I did it justice. I wanted Dorn to be a bit more shaken by the incident than anyone from the garden variety (rape)-culture would be, because such things are just not done among dwarves, and she grew up with the expectation that of course she would never be touched in a sexual or romantic way (and likely not even in any other context) without her explicit consent.


	10. Chapter 10

As on the past two days, Kíli washed and changed clothes after work, and went outside, to sit down on a mountain slope from which he could see anyone approaching. 

So far, the messenger had not brought back any news, good or bad. Kíli still hoped. He had plenty of time to think about his mistakes during those lonely hours on the mountain, and the more he thought, the more confused he was as to why he had ever thought it a good idea to behave like he had. 

Mother was right, he had never seen his uncle or brother behave in such a way. Only men.

And while the kiss was his most obvious mistake, the diamond seemed a rather bad idea, too. Balin had tried to warn him. Why, oh why had he not listened to Balin? Again and again mother and uncle had told him to not be rash and to listen to his elders. 

Sun was already setting in a blaze of red when Kíli saw a lonely traveler on the road. A lonely traveler with a small pony. 

Kíli’s heart beat faster. Could it be? 

He climbed down from his sitting place and ran towards the road. 

And finally, finally he could see more. The traveler was a dwarf, that was certain. Maybe, just maybe ...

It was only when he saw the light of sunset reflect from the blade of a double headed axe that Kíli allowed himself to rejoice. 

Though it was also in that moment that he realized he had no idea on what to do. He had never allowed himself to hope that it would happen, that he would even be there when Dorn returned. 

“You look tired!” he blurted out as soon as he could see her face properly. She looked horrible. Deep shadows under her eyes ... and her eyes were red on top of that. Her beard was braided, but not in the usual manner, only one single braid, as if she hadn’t had the time for more. 

She nodded. “Your highness.”

“Oh, please, everyone calls me Kíli.”

“I don’t.” Her voice was harsh and he felt as if winter had come already. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to .... I should stop talking, should I? Give me the reins of your pony, I will take it to the stable.”

“Her name is Amethyst, and I will take care of her myself.”

Obviously she had not forgiven him, but intended to rely on his promise to stay out of her way. “I ... I’ll go and bother you no more.” He turned to go. 

“Wait. I have something for you.”

He froze. What could she mean? Would she hand him the letter back? 

“Here. Before you ask, it’s just quartz.”

On her palm was a tiny piece of quartz, smaller even than her first courting gift, not much more than a grain of sand. He took it with trembling fingers.”Thank you so very much. It is more than I deserve.”

She grunted, nodded, and continued on her way. Kíli walked beside her. When they arrived at the stables, he offered to take her things back to her room, but she refused. 

“Do you want me to leave?”

She nodded. “I will find you if I want to talk.”

If. Not when. Kíli swallowed. “Alright then, I’ll tell mother you’re back.”

 

Kíli had only just entered his mother’s room when she asked “Is Dorn back?”

He nodded. “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Then I shall go and greet her. Go and eat something.”

 

First of all, he went to his room, to carefully place the tiny piece of quarz on the shelf with Dorn’s other gifts. 

His appetite was better than it had been the past few days, but he still didn’t eat much. He was busy thinking. What did the gift mean? Did it mean Dorn would forgive him someday?


	11. Chapter 11

When Kíli had left, Dorn almost regretted to not have taken him on his offer. The journey had not been much in comparison to what she already had lived through, but somehow, she still felt exhausted.

Maybe it was because she didn’t know what to feel. Kíli’s apology was lovely, but, everything considered, too good to be true. If such were the customs of men, then that would imply that men liked it to be kissed by their lovers, or maybe even random strangers, without any questions asked? 

That could not be right. She would have to ask someone. Gerrun, possibly. Or Tess, but she preferred Gerrun. Dís’ daughter in law not only had a certain standing among the Erebor dwarves, she also seemed more ... dwarvish than Tess, if one could call it so. 

“Dorn!”

She looked up and saw Dís. 

“I’m so glad you decided to come back. My son will not give you any more grief.”

Dorn bowed. “Lady Dís. You need not have come here. Certainly you have better things to do.“

“Better things to do than to welcome you back? I don’t think so. It is very generous of you to return in spite of what Kíli did to you. Please, let me carry your luggage back to your room.”

“As you please, my lady. Thank you very much.” 

“Don’t mention it. I shall see to it that a bath is prepared for you, and that supper is brought to your room.”

Dorn could do nothing but thank her again. When Dís had left, she went back to brushing Amethyst.   
She was confused. Had she not made it clear that she had not made a decision on whether to marry Kíli? Dís already seemed to treat her as future daughter in law, even carrying her luggage with her own royal arms. 

A bath ... how thoughtful, it was exactly what she needed now. A bath, and a nice meal in the privacy of her room, where she would not be pestered with questions about her sudden disappearance. 

If only she could really marry Kíli ... if only his apology was sincere ... she needed to talk to Gerrun first thing in the morning. 

After a nice hot bath in the water that came from hot springs deep inside the mountains, Dorn changed into some slightly crumpled clothes she had just unpacked, and walked back to her room, dirty clothes under her arm. 

She almost collided with Gerrun, who was carrying a tray with food. 

“Oh – Dorn, welcome back!” Gerrun smiled. “I bring your supper.”

“Thank you.” Dorn nodded. She had never been sure what protocol demanded if meeting a female man who was married to a dwarf prince, but Gerrun didn’t seem to mind, so that was probably alright. “Would you keep me company? You have already eaten, I assume?”

“I have, yes.”

She followed Dorn into the room and placed the tray on a the table there. “Today’s meal is mushroom soup. It glows in the dark, but I have been told that is normal.”

“Oh yes, the glow is a sign the mushrooms are fresh. One of my favourite dishes, actually.”

The evening started good. Hopefully, that could also be said for the answer to the question she intended to ask. “Please do sit down.” She gestured towards the only chair in the room, and sat down on the stone bench on the wall herself. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh, just ask away.” Gerrun sat down in the chair, and stretched her legs – she was not much taller than a dwarf, but still a bit too tall for the furniture. 

“I ... you ... you know why I left?”

“Actually, no. Fíli said it was something between you and Kíli.”

Dorn nodded. She would have expected no less from a dwarf, but was surprised that Kíli had kept that private. “He ...” She swallowed. “He kissed me.”

“Oh.” Gerrun didn’t seem very shocked, just surprised. 

“He told me such a thing is the normal custom of men.”

“Kissing? Well, yes, it is. I take it you didn’t want to be kissed?”

“I would have wanted to kiss him, if he had asked.” But he had not asked. 

“I see.” Gerrun frowned. “He did it just like that? Without hesitating? You could not have turned your face away?”

Dorn thought of how it had happened. There had been a moment ... “I could have, had I known what he was going to do. Why?”

Gerrun shook her head. “That is so like Kíli ... well, the thing is, a human woman would have known to turn her face. It is how men do it. As a girl, you have to be on your guard all the time, when you are alone with a man.”

“So ... that is true? It must be horrible!” Dorn dipped the spoon into the mushroom soup and enjoyed the taste of home and opulence. Poor female men! 

“I’m afraid it is true. It is something you grow used to. That is ... most get used to it. I think I never really liked it ... I never went to the dances and such, because that is where the young men go to meet girls. And touch ... and you’re supposed to slap their hands away and laugh about it, but I never thought it funny.” Gerrun shrugged. “I can imagine it must seem very disgusting to you.”

“What do you mean by saying that it is like Kíli?”

“Blundering is something he often does. Honestly, I am not surprised that he offended you. Every time he tried to give advice to people who were courting, he almost caused a disaster. For example, he told Fíli to give me diamonds as courting gift.”

So that, at least, was something he was honestly mistaken about. “So, did Fíli listen to him?!”

“Not exactly. He decided to not give me a pebble, but instead ask a human girl for advice. If he had listened to Kíli, I would probably have thought Fíli wanted me as his mistress.”

Mistress? Dorn ate another spoon of soup. “Are you not the mistress of his heart, now, if nothing else?”

“Oh.” Gerrun chuckled. “I’m sorry. The word is often used to mean ... you know ... a woman kept as lover, besides the lawful wedded wife. Something like a whore, but more wealthy, and with only one customer.”

Dorn needed some time to digest that. “You mean ... “ 

“Oh yes, Kíli would have caused quite the mess if Fíli had listened to him. I mean, me, I just about made a living by selling embroidery floss on the market! No man gives a woman such as me diamonds without expecting something in return.”

Something. The thought of what that meant almost made her lose her appetite. “Neither to a dwarf like me ... I thought.”

“So he did give you a diamond? I’m sure he meant well ... oh dear!”

“He did. To buy my forgiveness, I imagine.” Or the use of her body. 

“So that is why you are angry with him? Well, you have every right to, but I do think he is just being stupid. If you know him better, he’s quite nice ... most of the time. When he isn’t trying to prank anyone. I had never reason to complain about his behaviour around my daughter.”

“I just wanted to know.” Dorn ate another spoon of soup, and swallowed before continuing. “So, what he did would be normal for a male man?”

“Oh yes. It is outrageous for a dwarf, I imagine ...”

“It is ... assault. I could have brought charges against him, but ... “ She dipped her spoon into the soup once more. “In my heart, I think, I always hoped he didn’t intend to ...”

“As I said, I doubt he intended to harm you. He is often too convinced that he knows how to do everything right, but I think he is cured of that, now.”

Dorn nodded. “Thank you. I already decided I will continue courting him. Slower this time ...” She sighed. It would take a lot of time to forget what he had done, much more time than to forgive.


	12. Chapter 12

Kíli waited three days for Dorn to approach him. Then, on the third day after supper, when the dishes were cleared away and everyone went to fetch their musical instruments, Dorn walked over to him. 

“Prince Kíli.”

He nodded. “At your service.”

“People are asking questions.”

His heart sunk. So that was what it was about? “I am sorry.”

“That will not help. They want to know why I left, and why I came back, and I do not know what to tell them.”

“The truth?”

“Are you sure? It would ruin your reputation.”

Dear, lovely Dorn, thinking of his reputation, even after what he had done to her! If he hadn’t loved her already, he would now. He shrugged. “If what I did will ruin my reputation, then my reputation should be ruined, don’t you think?” After all, those whose opinions he valued most already knew. 

“They will ask why I didn’t demand your banishment. My friends already ask.”

It was a good question. “I will ask Ori whether there is any ancient law on how to redeem myself in the eyes of the public. In the meantime ... what do you want me to do?”

She looked at him, her eyes sad. “I just want to be able to believe that you respect me.”

How could he prove that? “I would do everything for you. I would shave my beard.” That was a punishment for lesser offenses than his. “Problem is ...” He rubbed over his chin. Since they had started courting, he had started to grow a beard, a small one that didn’t get in the way, but it was not really enough to make the cutting of it a meaningful gesture. “I could shave my hair.”

“That wouldn’t change anything.” She sighed. “I just don’t know what I want you to do. Maybe ... just ... talk. Can I trust you to behave if we are alone in a room?”

“Of course! I’m sorry that I ever ... I mean ... you don’t have to trust me. You can bring your axe.” 

Dorn smiled weakly. “Yes. That I can do. Though I hope I would not need it.”

“You wouldn’t. Just ... if it makes you feel safer?”

“It does. Can we meet in your room?”

He nodded. “Everything you want! Now? Or tomorrow?”

“Now, if it suits you.”

“Well.” He smiled apologetically. “I should maybe tidy up a bit beforehand? And get you some tea and cookies?”

“Tea would be nice. You don’t need to tidy up. I will just go and fetch my axe. Is your room somewhere near to your brother’s?”

“Yes, next to it.” He really should clean his room more often. Though it probably didn’t matter, he had done much worse than receive visitors in an untidy room already. “I’ll go and fetch tea.”

When he saw her standing in front of his room, his heart skipped a beat. She was glorious in her casual clothes, the heavy axe over her shoulder as if it weighed nothing. 

“I’m sorry, it is really untidy.” He tried to balance the tray with tea against the wall to have a hand free to open the door. 

“Let me do that for you.”

He noticed that she waited for him to nod before she even touched the handle of the door. So that was how a proper dwarf behaved. 

“Here, take a chair.” He placed the tea tray on the bedside table, and carried a teacup over to Dorn. “I’m afraid I don’t have a tea table.”

“That is alright.” Her eyes flicked through the room. “You should tidy your room before you have your niece over.”

“What?” Runís didn’t mind, she liked to play with his things. 

“Here – there are tooth marks in one of your arrowshafts.”

“Oh.” He fetched himself a cup of tea and sat down on the hearth rug. “Well, as a matter of fact, I did some tidying up – removed the arrowheads. Better my niece harms my arrows than the other way round, right?”

Dorn smiled. “I suppose it is.” One of her hands rested on her axe, but, as Kíli noticed with relief, rather relaxed. 

“So ... what did you want to talk about? Just talk in general?”

“I want to know what you thought you were doing when you ... did this to me.”

He stared into his teacup, to not have to see Dorn’s sad eyes. “I just ... sort of ... like you hug your friends when you are happy? I thought you would turn away if you didn’t want a kiss, I think. Or slap me afterwards and ... I don’t know. It always seems so easy when I see people kiss at the Fair in Laketown.”

Dorn sighed. “Male men are monsters. Not much better than Mirkwood spiders.”

“Oh. I guess ... Gerrun never seemed to mind ... though she did say she liked Fíli better. I always thought that was because she is in love with him.”

“It is more than that. She told me she never went to the dances and such because there were male men there.” Kíli heard the porcelain clink as she took a sip of tea. “You do know that courting is different from spending time with a family member?”

“Yes! Of course! I just ...” Or maybe he wasn’t. His feelings were different of course, but ... not entirely. He did want to hug her and tell her everything would be fine. But even he was clever enough to know that that wouldn’t be a good idea right now. 

“The thing is ... I would have liked a kiss. If you had asked.”

 

Kíli hung his head in shame. Now that explained why she hadn’t flinched ... maybe she had expected he would ask every moment, instead of just ... If only ... if he had asked ... then she would be happy now. She would not have brought her axe to meet him. “I’m so sorry. I never intended to ... I somehow thought it would ... ruin the mood, to ask? It makes no sense, I know.”

Dorn’s voice was husky when she spoke again. “Kíli ... I want to forgive you. And maybe I can ... but I cannot forget.”

He nodded. A lump had formed in his throat, and tears were welling up in his eyes. “It is more than I deserve.”

“Aye. Love is not about what one deserves, though.”

“Not?” It had always seemed clear to him. If you were worthy, you got to be chosen by one of the few women, if not, then not. 

“No. Marriage is. My mother would never allow me to marry an unworthy dwarf. Love, on the other hand ... I cannot command my heart to not love you. I can only choose to walk away.”

Kíli nodded, swallowed, and yet his voice would not obey him. “I am grateful that you ...” He wiped the tears from his face. “That you came back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed just now that my dwarves drink lots of tea. I have no idea why. Maybe because hobbits do, and I just can't imagine dwarves not liking tea? Or maybe Bilbo had more of an impact on the Erebor culture than one would think he would have?


	13. Chapter 13

When he told Ori what he had done, the scribe stared at him. “You did what?!”

Kíli sighed. “I know, I know. Keep this to yourself, will you? Dorn doesn’t seem to want it to be public knowledge.”

“Very generous of her. Really, what were you thinking?!”

“Nothing at all. So much should be obvious”, he half-heartedly attempted to joke. 

“You can count yourself lucky that she believes that ... so that is why she left ... that makes sense ...”

“Is there any old tradition I don’t know about, that could tell me what I should do? I’d shave my beard, but it wouldn’t be a really impressive gesture. And Dorn doesn’t think cutting my hair would change anything anyway. It’s more about the public opinion ... I need something that will make her friends understand why she doesn’t demand that I be kicked out of the mountain.”

Ori nodded. “Let me think ...” He stared into the empty space in front of him for some time, then nodded again. “There is something ... I don’t know whether it has ever been used for that kind of crime, but it is better than nothing, I suppose.”

“What do I have to do?”

“It is sort of a public apology. After that comes the part where she is absolutely allowed to kill you. If you are lucky, you survive.”

“Oh. Alright. Something that requires everyone to be present, I assume?”

“Not everyone. Just those who feel they can stomach witnessing a killing. I would advise against bringing Runís.”

“Dorn would not kill me.” 

Ori shook his head. “If you are so sure of that, it is rather pointless. The point of it is, after all, to show that you acknowledge you deserve to be killed for your transgression.”

“I don’t have to prove it to her. Just to her friends, and everyone else ... it’s a bad situation for her, people want to know why she left, and ...” He shrugged helplessly. Everyone probably suspected it was somehow Kíli’s fault, but no one seemed to dare say it. 

 

He told Dorn about it when she approached him on the hallway a few days afterwards. 

She nodded. “That seems sufficient to reduce the harm done to your reputation. I shall discuss it with Lady Dís.” 

“Thank you. Um.” He rummaged in his pocket. “Would you ... accept ...” He offered her a tiny stone, not too much bigger than what she had given him. 

Dorn took it, silently, but still, she slid it into her pocket, and Kíli’s heart felt a bit lighter. 

 

His mother called him to her chambers on the evening of the same day. 

“Dorn told me what you intend to do. And I talked to Ori”, she said. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I see no other way.”

“You are aware that Dorn, should she kill you during this, will not be persecuted for murder?”

“As Ori told me, that is the point of it”, Kíli replied weakly. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to ... but I’m not a terribly good son as it is, am I? It’s not as if you’d lose much.”

She shook her head. “Your behaviour was shameful, it’s true, but I still love you. Come here, let me hug you.”

He happily obliged and rested his chin on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I always mess everything up, and now ...”

She tightened her grip around his upper body. “Nonsense. You have been a fine son so far, except your assault of Dorn. And I am mightily proud that you intend to face the consequences of your wrongdoings.” 

“Really?”

“Really. You should know that. Just in case ...” Her voice broke. “I am proud of you”, she repeated after a while. “Dorn suggested we do it tomorrow evening. Is that alright with you?”

“It is.”


	14. Chapter 14

This time, Kíli didn’t complain about the formal attire he was required to wear. Quite the opposite. It was comforting that his mother had embroidered his tunic herself. This one had no protection runes, but he still felt a bit better after donning it. No matter how badly he had messed up, his mother would always love him. 

Everyone had gathered in the great hall. Everyone except Runís, who would spend the evening with her grandmother. 

It was a bit like a wedding, except the armed warriors stood in a circle around Kíli, and they were looking at him. 

Dorn was among them, and at her sides stood Dís and Thorin, both holding shields. 

Kíli knew that it was because they were the highest ranking people present, but it still made him feel deserted and alone. 

Which was probably the purpose of the whole thing. 

“Kíli, son of Dís, state your crime.”

His palms were sweating and his body trembled while he repeated the words he had learnt by heart prior to the ceremony. Ori had helped him make it sound a little more dignified than his original, stuttered confession had been, but it was still shameful. 

Finally, he had gotten through it, and the noise that erupted from the crowd told Kíli that the other dwarves disapproved of his behaviour. Very much. 

Maybe Dorn would leave him , after all. She would lose face if she continued to court him. 

Next, Thorin asked what the punishment for such a crime was. Dís answered that this was to be determined by the one Kíli had harmed. 

Dorn stepped forward. “A male who would harm a female dwarf deserves death”, she said solemnly. 

This was part of the ritual, he knew, but it still smarted. And her words were so earnestly spoken – maybe she meant it. 

Kíli was told to kneel down, which he did. 

Then, Dís handed Dorn her axe. “I give you leave to do with him as you wish.”

Kíli closed his eyes as he presented his neck. She wouldn’t kill him, would she? This was all just for show ... or was it? 

The last thing he heard was the sound of an axe being swung through the air. 

 

When he woke up, he was lying on the cold stone floor, and everyone was cheering. Apparently he had missed something important. 

“I’m not dead, am I?” He whispered. 

“Obviously not”, Dorn whispered back. “Kíli, son of Dís, I believe that you did not intend to harm me, and so I forgive you. Once, and only once.”

There was more cheering, the crowd dissolved, and everyone got themselves something to drink. 

Which didn’t meant that Kíli got to be alone with Dorn. People gathered around her, asking her why she had been so dramatic when she could just have demanded his banishment. 

Kíli sighed. That was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. 

Dorn waited until everyone had said their piece. “It was my choice, and my choice alone”, she then replied solemnly. “The matter is settled as written down in ancient law. Leave me alone.” 

And indeed, everyone left. Except her closest friend, who said nothing, but eyed Kíli suspiciously. 

Clearly, he was not welcome here. “Good night” He bowed and turned to leave. 

“Wait.” Dorn’s voice was calm. 

Kíli turned. “Yes?”

“You may wear the pendant I gave you, if you wish to do so.”

He was so surprised he could only nod. 

Dorn bowed. “Good night, my prince.”


	15. Chapter 15

That night, Kíli had the sweetest dreams ever since his transgressions. When he woke up, he could not remember much, except that he had dreamt about Dorn. The pendant she had given to him had left an imprint in his palm, so tightly had he clutched it during the night. 

At breakfast, however, Kíli noticed that something had changed. Dwarves avoided him. The only ones who would still sit with him during mealtime were his family, and, for some reason, Tess and Bofur. 

“I can understand why everyone else ignores me”, Kíli said at dinner. “But why don’t you? ”

Tess shrugged. “What you did was normal by human standards. To be honest, I had suspected something worse than an unwanted kiss when Dorn was so upset.”

“Worse?” He could not imagine anything worse than that. Nothing, at least, that he could imagine himself doing. 

“When I worked in Laketown, men often tried to grab my breasts. Or get under my skirts”, Tess said casually. “Something like that.”

“What? You mean ... strange men? You weren’t courting with them?” This sounded ... horrible. How could anyone live like this?

Bofur nodded. “Aye, that shocked me, too. That wasn’t misunderstandings, it was ...” He shook his head, unable to find a word for it. 

“I am very glad I am safe from that, here.” Tess smiled. “It is so much more relaxing.”

And suddenly, Kíli understood. All the little things Gerrun had said in the past, about liking to not have to be on her guard with Fíli ... it all fit together. And it said that not even humans were happy with their culture. At least ... human women weren’t happy with the culture of human men. 

That evening, he resolved to watch Gerrun and Fíli, and Tess and Bofur, and all the dwarf couples he knew. Really watch them. He made mental notes of how they behaved towards each other. He needed to learn how to behave like a real dwarf. 

He was very grateful that Gerrun still trusted him with Runís. His niece had no idea what had happened, and didn’t behave any differently. To her, he still was her favourite uncle.   
Even better, whenever he watched over Runís in the great hall, Dorn would turn up and silently watch the two of them. 

At first it made him a bit nervous, but watching over a little child, who was learning to walk, was no task that allowed much distraction, and so he often almost forgot that Dorn was there. Just almost. Her presence made him happy even when he was busy persuading Runís that the fire was not so interesting after all, and that her new toy was much better suited to playing with. 

One evening, as the finding of a precious gem was celebrated, Kíli volunteered to watch over Runís so that Gerrun and Fíli could attend the celebrations. 

He had just carried the child to his room, when there was a knock at the door. 

“Come in.” He wondered briefly who it could be, as Thorin was to play the harp in the great hall, and usually nobody would want to be late for that. 

Dorn stepped into the room. “Would you terribly mind if I stay?”

“Mind? No, of course not! You are always welcome. Do sit down.” 

“Thank you. You are nice, quiet company, the two of you.” She sat down in front of the fire, which was nice as it would deter Runís from trying to play with the flames. 

Kíli chuckled. “Most of the time, yes. You should hear Runís when she’s unhappy, though.”

It did, he had to admit, not happen often that Runís was really unhappy, he made sure of that. 

 

Dorn liked watching them, immensely. Kíli was so gentle with Runís, it was ... soothing. Reassuring.   
Of course, seeing a potential husband interact with children was always important. It made the decision easier. Kíli would be a good father, of that she was certain. 

But there was more to it, in Dorn’s case. To see him interact with such a helpless small child, to see that he didn’t harm the little one, was healing. 

Now, Runís stretched out her arms. “Up”, she said, and Kíli picked her up. The child had a good look around, tugged at Kíli’s beard, and smiled at Dorn over his shoulder. Then, however, Runís stretched out her arms and made little noises. 

Kíli put her back on the floor. “You like Dorn, do you?”, he cooed. Then, turning around, he smiled shyly. “You don’t mind if she crawls over to you, do you?”

Dorn felt something like relief, though she was not sure why. 

“Of course not.” She watched happily as Runís crawled over to her, and used her legs as a help to stand up. “Up?”

“I didn’t ask Gerrun”, she murmured. It was awkward. She had not asked permission to touch the child, and now, she would have to either act against the law or disappoint a child. 

“She won’t mind”, Kíli reassured her. “She even trusts me, of all people, with Runís.”

“If you are sure ...” She picked up Runís, and the child’s face lit up. Beards, it seemed, were a favourite plaything for her, as she pawed at Dorn’s beard and babbled something that Dorn thought might mean “permission?” 

“Aye, you may touch it.” 

Runís giggled and tugged at Dorn’s beardclasps. Finally, when she seemed bored with that, Dorn put her down again. 

“Kíli ... come to my room tomorrow evening.”

She knelt down to say goodbye to Runís, who was now busy playing with one of the toys Bofur had made for her, and then stood up and left the room. She had much to think about.


	16. Chapter 16

Kíli was pleasantly surprised. An invitation to Dorn’s room! How had he even earned that? Maybe by asking her if she wanted to play with Runís? Everyone wanted to play with a child. It was only because he was her uncle, and now because there were other children, that Kíli managed to spend so much time with her. 

 

He dressed in his best clothes before the meeting, asked Fíli to braid his hair, and knocked at Dorn’s door at the earliest hour that could be defined as “evening”. 

Dorn opened. She was still dirty from work. “I didn’t expect you before dinner.”

“Sorry! I’ll go and return later, alright?”

“No, do come in.” She opened the door wider. “You look good.”

“Thanks.” He felt himself blush a bit. 

“I have something for you.”

‘Something’ turned out ot be a beautiful piece of amethyst. Kíli felt his heart sing with joy when her hand touched his as he accepted the gift. 

After that, Dorn filled the washbasin in the room with water, and soaped her face. “I wrote to my mother”, she announced while scrubbing her face. “She is not pleased with your former behaviour, but the fact that Gerrun trusts you with Runís is ... favourable.”

“Oh.”

“You seem to have changed, too.”

“Do you think so? I tried, obviously, but ...” He wrung his hands nervously. 

“Aye.” After successfully getting rid of the dirt, Dorn dried her face with a towel and looked at him again. “You have become more ... polite. It suits you.”

“Really?” He looked at the amethyst in his hand. All seemed to be well ... but maybe he would manage to ruin everything in mere moments, again. 

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it true. Actually ... I would like to ...” She smiled shyly. “Kiss you.”

His eyes went wide with shock. “You ... oh! Whenever you want!”

“Give me your hand.”

Confused, he extended the hand which still held her gift. Dorn gently closed his fingers around the stone, turned his hand around and kissed it.

Her lips were soft against his skin, and her breath was warm. 

Kíli felt all warm and happy inside. “I love you”, he blurted out before he could stop himself. 

“I hope so”. Dorn smiled at him. “Now ... it is almost time for dinner. I need to change clothes beforehand.”

“Of course. I’ll save you a seat?”

“Do that.”

Before going to dinner, he went to his room to carefully place the amethyst on the shelf. Then he hurried to get to the hall. Not that it was necessary to save a seat for Dorn. There were plenty, and there was enough food, too. Still, it felt nice to do something for her, even if it was so superfluous. 

When she arrived, her hair was newly braided and her clothes clean. Kíli felt that he somewhat preferred her in work clothes ... maybe because it was the fancy clothes that had fueled is initial dislike. 

“So ... we are friends again?”, he asked when she sat down next to him. 

“No”, she replied. 

His heart sank. 

“We are courting.”

His grin couldn’t have been any wider.


End file.
